In Limbo

As I sit here waiting for my 2 hour delayed 2 hour flight to Santa Barbara I feel like I am in limbo and realize this is sort of what my life has been feeling like and I think it is a theme right now for so many around me.

I am headed to Santa Barbara for a four day work conference.  It is actually a pretty great conference and I think it will be a nice four days, spending that time in sunny Santa Barbara at eh UCSB campus isn't half bad either.  I got up at my usual 5:30am with Mallory and cooed with her for an hour until she was ready to eat and go back to sleep, then I showered and finished my packing.  Kris and the kids headed off to cousin Charlie's big birthday party and I headed north thinking I had timed everything just right to leave just the right amount of wait time and not be rushed to park and check my bag, enough time to grab a coffee and go.  Not so, I arrived to a 2 hour delay.  No explanation I have heard, but my guess might be fog in California?  No I am through security and stuck on the inside waiting.

I am the type who, when traveling, just wants to get there and get on with the show.  I think of all that I am missing or all that I could be doing.  I guess the one good thing is I have my laptop so now I can blog, something I don't find much time for lately.

In life I am limbo as with the small children Kris and I have I often think or tell people in a couple of years we will have more freedom for that again.  I love Mallory and Kris and I choose to have her and are so happy we do, but this age is hard to have any freedom with.  Conrad is just now really at a point where he has some independence and that frees Kris and I up just a bit.  He can be left with someone else and I know he has nothing but a good time.  He even got the jug of milk out of the fridge the other day and a cup from the cupboard.  He brought them to be to pour, but we are getting there.  So now is the time Kris and I could go away for a little trip or even an evening out and we know he will be happy about it.  Mallory on the other hand still really needs us, and mostly me.  Even being gone these next four days will be a test for us all, probably more me than Mallory or Kris, but she has still been breast feeding and sleeps with me at night.  So we are in limbo with the freedom of having children who aren't really babies.  In a couple of years we will be there again.

In Kris and my careers we are doing well but in a bit of a place of limbo too.  Kris has been talking about and working with the mind that he is going to buy the business he is at from his boss.  This is not a pipe dream, Jay and he have talked about it and it is the unwritten plan.  Jay is getting close to that point of retiring, but isn't there just yet and Kris is looking at things from the perspective of how he will run things or the operations being his to manage, but not really there yet either.  For me it is not so much work, it is the location I work in.  Currently we are cramped into a somewhat small space in the memorial union building, but there is a new building under construction we are going to be moving into.  The building is close to being done now, I even got a picture "in" what will be my new office.  We expect to move in this winter.  I keep thinking maybe I should rearrange this, or look at getting something to help organize and do this, but then I think it really is not much longer and we will be in an entirely new space.

In many ways it is good to be in some limbo, it means things are changing and happening to you, but it is that space where you aren't really there yet and you feel a little stuck.  All I know to do is focus on what is coming next and work to make it the best it can be when it does get here, maybe you can make the change come sooner, or like with me and waiting for this plane, I can make the best of the time I have while I am waiting.