Putting my Thoughts into Words

I am taking a moment tonight to really write in this blog. It has certainly been hit or miss if I get to writing anything and if I do it is usually pretty limited, but of course I have been thinking about having my baby a lot lately.  When he is crying seemingly endlessly or up again at 3am it is hard to remember how great this all is, but then I look into that sweet face while he eats or sleeps or he smiles a big gummy smile at me and I melt back to the I am so in love and can't wait for all to come.  I suppose that is the one thing that surprises me at this point.  I sort of can't wait for him to grow up a little.  I hate to rush it because I know it will go so fast and I will be looking back thinking where did the time go, but I struggle with, well sleep still, how to entertain him, is he getting the right and enough stimulation, is he hungry, tired, or just crying to get some energy out?  I guess I keep thinking when he is just a bit older I will understand him all the better and be able to relate to him better.  Now I just talk to him and feel sort of silly, shake a toy in front of him - although he is starting to respond and grasp at them more now - or just rock and hold him all day.  I am not in a hurry to be back at work and dread the transition because I worry it will be tough for him and me to sleep, eat, and be merry, but I am getting a bit bored here at home all day and going out is really tough because he just isn't on enough of a schedule to definitely hit nap time, or be between feedings, or whatever.  I am dealing with hunger and or crying every time it seems.

Conrad is the best.  He is such a wonderful addition to our lives.  I am very much in love with him. I still remind myself this is really forever and I am really a mom now who will have this baby in m life forever.  Sometimes it just feels like it is a weird game or something then I think about five or ten years from now and going on vacation and needing to plan the car ride or get an extra bed in the hotel.  I think about just everything we do now but how it will be different with children.  I fully expect we will have another baby in a couple of years, so yes I say children.

Conrad has his 2 month appointment tomorrow so I will report on his growth (I know he gained weight, no worry there) then.  He is congested with a touch of cold or something that is gurgling in his throat so hopefully we will get something to help get that cleared up and it isn't anything too serious, he seems mostly feeling okay just seems to choke on some phlegm now and then.