This year has been busy, stressful, fast, and completely crazy. Now in April we are in a better, somewhat less crazy, and less unsettled sort of place.
Where to begin... The kids have been growing too quickly. Conrad is going to preschool three days a week and while at first he was shy and passive he has come out of his shell and gained a lot of confidence. He seems to love learning and in the past couple of months in particular has been showing a real thirst for understanding everything and seems to have grown up. He is four and a half and we are already registering for kindergarten. We are hoping to have him go in Philomath since that is where our daycare is and he will be able to take the bus from Ronnie's to school and back. It is also closer to Kris and my work which helps for those times he may be sick or have an appointment or school activity. He loves riding his bike and going to the park. He has been exploring his freedom racing ahead of me or dad as we push Mallory on her trike. His favorite toys and games are still cars, trucks, and car and truck related play. He is a bit of a more gentle soul and so seems to play better with the girls over the boys. I know this is sexist to assume girls are more gentle than boys, but I have been watching this unfold at birthday parties, in the classroom, or on the playground. Girls just seem to have a softer approach to things over the rambunctious boys who thunder in and out with little recognition of the wake they leave behind them. Conrad doesn't take will to the aggressiveness that generally comes along with that.
Mallory just turned two at the end of February. She is a bit of a drama queen and is bossy, but sweet and funny too. She talks a lot and seems super smart. She catches onto things quickly. This is my favorite age since at this time the kiddo starts to or can communicate and shows such a personality. It is fun to see what things she is drawn to and what kind or person she will be. Interestingly for being the baby/toddler who wasn't all that interested in the TV and one for whom that sort of entertainment did not capture her attention, she is becoming really drawn to the Kindle and the little games and shows the kids have on that. She will actually throw herself on the floor crying when it is time to put it away. Well she will throw herself on the floor, or dirt, or sidewalk, whenever she is not getting her way, like I said, dramatic.
Both kids are in swim lessons right now. Lessons is a stretch for what Mallory is doing, but at this age it is all about enjoying the water. She does. She blows bubbles, goes under, kicks and jumps without any trouble. Mostly she gets distracted by the toys and just wants to hold three or four while "swimming." Oh well. This time around Conrad has really taken to it. He is swimming out to the teach and back to the wall (it is not very far, more of a reach for the teach or wall, but the idea is there). He can reach better now so that gives him the confidence to try it. I think if we stick with it he will move up and be swimming quickly.
Kris has been busy at work. For years now the talk has been about him taking the business over when his boss retired and that is actually coming true now. Several months ago a project manager with a local contractor that they frequently work with approached Kris' boss about his plans for the business upon retirement, this began a partnership between this man and Kris. It seems like a pretty good match and has made the take over a little easier, I think. Maybe there is not so much burden fully on Kris. This Cody has a bit more of the sales and running the project with the customer background and skill while Kris knows the shop and the internal workings. They have officially made their first payments and now have a minority ownership. Kris' boss plans to transition out of the next couple of years. This has finally brought what had been talk and somewhere in the future to the now. Having the actual numbers and plan in writing now gives us both a better sense of finances, life, and our commitment which helps us plan and handle other life decisions. Now Kris feels stress about making the rest of this all come true and financially has informed me, we are now poor, or need to live like we are...
For me the year has been tough. I have been dealing with some medical struggles. Nothing too alarming, but have had some pretty sever back pain and limited mobility, at times extremely limited. I have seen a couple of doctors and been doing physical therapy. Finally when those things were not improving or resolving the issue they did x-rays. I have been diagnosed with Arthritis. I have compression of a couple of discs in my back. At this point we are now just looking at pain management and I am experimenting with what causes me stiffness and pain and then not doing that. You can imagine how this works out, lifting a two year old causes me pain, but the not doing that... lifting a four year old causes me pain, but not doing that (yes, he still wants to be carried)... I am stiff in the morning when I get up and putting on pants, socks, shoes causes me pain, but not doing that... You can see what I am saying. So I am back to the gym again just trying things and seeing how I feel the next day. Generally it is long periods of sitting, standing, walking, laying, bending, basically I need to vary my position regularly. At this point I am not doing anything else, no steroid shots, no surgery, nothing like that. I want to leave those options open for down the road when the pain gets harder to bare.
Along with dealing with my back and literally not being able to stand up straight at times I have been struggling with my job. I still can't say for sure what happened or what I may have done wrong (really I am self critical and don't know what it could have been, I mean I am not perfect and never claimed to be doing everything the best possible way, but I had told my boss that I knew some things were slipping and going by the way side and I thought she understood and knew the circumstances as to why). Soon it felt my job was on the line and I was not getting the necessary feedback as to why or what to do differently to change this. I started looking for somewhere else to be, I needed some security. I carry many of our families benefits and Kris was about to make a handsome payment from our reserves to buy a business. Oh, we were also looking for a house and thinking about moving, but I will get to that.
It started more than a year ago when we were down a position and specifically my help and I was covering both that and my position. I didn't have very much experience with some of the non-payroll related work that employee had been doing and so was slow and struggling just to stay afloat day to day. My boss was preoccupied with some other major shifts in our office and was sort of not available, or I didn't feel like she was available to me. I just tried to keep things moving and felt like things would settle down again and we would be able to get back on track from there. Instead I felt under a lot of scrutiny and from other managers in the department and began to have a sense that there were discussion going about me and maybe complaints, but no one was giving me the chance to explain, defend, comment, anything. Anyway I started looking for other jobs as well as trying to push for clarity and peace with my boss and the job I had. This all was leaving me with sleepless nights (not that I was always sleeping well with a two year old who wanders the house at 2am and a four year old who still wakes up and wants someone to sleep with him fairly regularly). Kris was stressed since he was feeling in a volatile place with his job and the uncertainty of what would happen with all of this was leaving us somewhat stuck and unable to make any plans or decisions about anything. Things did get better at work and with my boss (although I still never got anything in writing or my annual evaluation that had been due in June), but one of the jobs I applied for worked out and I accepted the offer moving from the business center office where I did payroll and finance to the central admin. office where I process payroll and manager payroll systems. So I'm still at OSU, still have the same benefits :) and work with people I already knew and worked with through my position at the business center, some of whom are also people I worked with when I started at OSU in 2007. A weight of uncertainty has been lifted and I am happy to be here.
Finally, the house thing. Maybe two years after discussion with my sister and I about the property (my grandparents property that was left to my dad and his brother and where my parents live in the San Juan') my parents decided to sell and retire closer to me here in Oregon. They started looking at homes in Albany and while my mom even toured a couple they were in early stages and were getting an idea of what was available and how much things would cost. They had different ideas about what they wanted and then there was discussion about moving in with Kris and I to minimize the responsibility and work to my parents (sharing that with Kris and I) and the cost in taxes and amenities as we might be able to share some of these things. So we began to run with this idea and look for a home or property where all of us could live, together but separate. From the beginning it was going to be a bit of a needle in a haystack to find the place that met all of our needs and in budget. Needless to say we have not found it. There were many more options than I expected, but it never seemed to be just the right thing and at the right time. Mom and dad put their house on the market and with everything else changing for Kris and I we decided to put that on hold and wait for the San Juan property to sell. Mom and dad have had many lookers and even an offer, but that was a far fetched offer and so far no buyers have come through. We said this is the kind of place that could takes years to sell and it has only been about half of one so far, so who knows. Still just waiting on this one and then we will decide what to do.
I have to keep reminding myself that all things happen for a reason and in the time they are supposed to. This has proven true so far leading me to a new job where I am learning so many great new things and am very happy, Kris to have a partner to own and run the business with, which is a great thing, and even for my parents giving my dad a little more time before he retires and to deal with some unexpected medical things before they were in the middle of moving or a major lift change.
The future looks bright.
P.S. here is a link to my parents property if you know anyone who might want to buy it.
https://www.redfin.com/WA/Friday-Harbor/138-Barnacle-Point-Ln-98250/home/16751783
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